The food system was a large part of my awaking to truth, and for many years i have been on a dietary journey of eating in alignment with Natural Law to the best of my ability, which for the last 4 years has been plant based/vegan.
As any good scientist would, i decided to try an experiment last night. Not because I was craving it, not because it sounded appealing, not because i felt like i needed it…but for the sake of research, to gain knowledge and understanding. Perhaps a part of me decided to eat sushi due to peer pressure and past conditioning, or my closeness with someone who has been experimenting with how they feel eating a vegan diet, who talks about eating sushi as well as their love for eggs, and bugs which they have given up for a trial period. Lately I have been spending time near a scientist who very much likes to eat meat, often talking about its importance, benefits, etc and sharing about the many plants he avoids for health benefits, questions and comments on my choices to eat vegan and as least harmful as possible. He recently took a look at my blood to see how my vitamin b12 levels were doing, and to his surprise, they seemed normal. This pleased me to hear, as well as my recent interactions with an elder healer and scientist who has been eating a vegan diet for the most part of 50 years, and in recent years has been doing it on almost entirely wild plants.
I have been talking with my friend experiment with a vegan diet, who has a deep love for sushi, and I share an appreciation for the artful and delicious combinations of foods that go into making some sushi rolls. Though I have had many fulfilling positive experiences with eating a vegan version of a sushi roll, in solidarity with him as he made great progress in diet change, and for the sake of knowing through experimentation, I decided I too would experiment, as he had his heart set on trying sushi to see how his body would respond, with a lot of confidence that it would respond positively. My friend has the thought that it is okay to eat and kill fish because their brains are smaller, and they think that fish have less sentience.
Personally, i do not see fish as “less” sentient necessarily, or of less value or worth with less rights than any other life on earth, each important and playing their role in the grand scheme of things. Years before I began eating plant based, I spent several years with the strong value of hunting and fishing for my own food if i were going to eat meat, as to take the karmic responsibility upon myself rather than paying someone else to do so, and for the sake of being mindful, aware, connected, and holistically in a closed loop of the circle of life when I ate my food. Though at the time it seemed easier for me to kill, gut, and prepare fish than it was to hunt, gut, and prepare deer, I do not see it as okay to kill fish when we have other options available which cause less harm. Perhaps it was easier because they were small, and because it was so sustainable where I was living at the time, or maybe it was partly because fish seem less closely related to humans since they are not mammals.
So, I ate raw fish.
I decided to try it, and see what would happen, how i would feel…
Before ordering i talked with the server about my food allergies to alliums, and made sure to order something that was safe, so i could fully experience the effects of the fish alone, without any interference from things that i know cause ill effects.
I ordered a sushi roll with yellow tail, avocado, jalapeño, nori, and rice.
On the first bite, my observation was that it tasted like death.
I could tase and smell the cadavarine.
It wasn’t pleasant, and part of me wanted to spit it out instantly. I could hear a voice in me saying it wasn’t right for me, but a different part of me said to move forward with the experiment, and not to back out. I had already put it in my mouth, so I decided i was going to continue and eat the entire 6 pieced roll. Masking the dead body’s taste and smell with wasabi, soy sauce, and ginger allowed me to get 5 pieces down, without thinking too hard about it. Any time i allowed myself to think logically about it, it didnt make sense as to why i was eating it. I knew my body didn’t need, or like to eat dead bodies.
I wondered, would I feel great like my friends thought? They made comments like, “You probably need it” etc, which felt contradictory to my experience, having felt healthier than ever.
I traded my last piece of yellow tail sushi for a piece with raw salmon and a piece with tuna, also making sure they didn’t contain any of my food allergies with my friend at the table who had been experimenting with a vegan diet. They had described their love for sushi previously as orgasmic, was very excited to be eating sushi again, and decided to go all in on treating themselves, ordering the sushimi platter, basically a plate full of various fresh raw meat cuts straight up, as well as a sushi roll with salmon, yellow tail, and tuna, and a roll with eel. They began to eat their food and was disappointed and shocked at how they felt…It was just “okay” and not something they felt their body needed, which they thought they would simply feel amazing like their body had in the past when eating sushi. After a while they described their tummy to be not so happy, and said that they were done eating sushi, and no longer felt the desire to seek it out.
There comes a point in time when the evidence for myself becomes conclusive, knowing myself, tapping into my intuition and my heart, hearing it first and more loudly than external forces. I could hear my friend‘s disappointment, shock, and breakthrough with facing an attachment to eating meat that they now had taken a step closer to breaking away from. I was not attached to eating meat, but other than the smell and taste and energy of death that i sensed, i was in a careful state of observing my experienced, and not being to quick to make judgements about how it made me feel, or if it was right or wrong, moral or immoral.
After a while, I noticed that my body did not feel good. As we sat at the restaurant talking with our friends and allowing the meal to settle, i felt bloated. Within 30 minutes of leaving, i began to have pain in my 3rd eye and more discomfort in my abdomen. This pain continued for the next day, as well as my stomach feeling bloated on multiple occasions, with some mild cramping, gas, and pain. There have been waves of nausea when remembering the smells, textures, and experience of eating the fish. Sleeping the night after that meal was not very restful, and I felt like a zombie the next day with brain fog, and lack of energy and focus, feeling the need to get back in touch with myself. The effects lasted for another night, with more bloating and pain, lethargia, and difficulty sleeping.
3 of my friends at the table who also ate sushi did not have any complaints about their well-being, so this assures me that it wasn’t a bad batch of fish or something else that caused the bodily reaction for me. Based on my research I thought that if i were to try eating meat, maybe raw fish would be the most easy to digest thing. In my experience, it was not, and putting the death energy from animal carcasses in my body is not welcomed.
I am reassured in my intuition, experience, and knowledge that eating the most in harmony with Natural Law is the best choice to be made at any given time, which is usually vegan/plant based, and it is clear that my physical and spiritual body does not like, need, nor want to eat dead animal body parts. My body, and my soul recognizes that eating animals for food is not Right for me.