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Adult Chickenpox at age 26

Pardon my nipple-free alien boobs, I had to blur them to make this post legal.

This post is actually about chickenpox!

I am 26 and I got the chickenpox.

This illness is considered to be more severe in adults, and in my experience, this is because we don’t have mothers around to care for us, and have more responsibilities.

The risk of death apparently increases by about 25% as an adult, and more serious complications can occur such as brain inflammation and pneumonia, though this illness once upon a time was common for children to get ranging from age 5-11 before the vaccine was introduced in the early 90s when I was a kid. My mother tried to expose me to the illness to build immunity like my older siblings had who grew up on the 80s but we didn’t find anyone to give it to me, and chose not to vaccinate.

The illness typically lasts about 5 days with pox blisters appearing all over the body in increments of 2-4 days. Other symptoms often include a fever, cough, aches and pains, and fatigue.

The vaccine has greatly reduced outbreaks, though it comes with its own set of common risks which include pain/redness/bruising/swelling at the injection site, fever, mild chickenpox-like skin rash, runny or stuffy nose,cough, sore throat, headache, tired feeling, sleep problems (insomnia), joint or muscle pain, nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, or diarrhea. Less common risks can be more serious and include pneumonia, seizures, and more. There has shown to be a high rate of immunity to the virus for up to ten years after having 2 doses of the vaccine, though each dose can shed the virus and cause chickenpox in those who have not yet build immunity. Those who have recently been vaccinated or exposed to the virus should avoid the elderly and babies for the period where shedding is a risk. The chickenpox was possibly used as biological warfare when colonists gave native Americans infected blankets.

The inactive Ingredients of the varicella vaccine include: sucrose, hydrolyzed gelatin, sodium chloride, monosodium L-glutamate, sodium phosphate dibasic, potassium phosphate monobasic, potassium chloride, residual components of MRC-5 cells including DNA and protein, sodium phosphate monobasic, EDTA, neomycin, fetal bovine serum.

These ingredients all come with risks and side effects of their own.

Personally I would not choose to inject those ingredients in my body. So far, the chickenpox is not fun, but it’s also a lot more appealing to me than injecting those poisons and dna from other animals. Sure it hurts, but I get to take a break and watch some Gaia and catch up on down-time activities.

There are actually benefits to have in this virus. It has been shown to strengthen the immune system and even make people resistant to certain types of cancers.

Maybe it would have been easier to get the illness at a child and have build the immunity then, but I’m also glad its happening at 26 and not later in life. I feel quite resilient and able to fight it off at this time.

2020 has been eventful so far. After enduring a miscarriage at 14 weeks and am still in the process of my body adjusting back, I now have the chickenpox. Another blessing here is that I will be immune to chickenpox now which puts me in a safer position for motherhood in the future, as chickenpox can be dangerous to pregnant mothers and the developing fetus who have not yet build an immunity to the virus.

How did I get the chickenpox? I am pretty certain that I got it from my partner’s shingles. Shingles is the same virus as the chickenpox but it has mutated. Anyone who has had chickenpox can get the shingles, and shingles can be had more than once but is very uncommon to occur more than twice. Shingles can give the chickenpox to those who have not yet build an immunity. Shingles vaccines just like chickenpox vaccines can shed and cause either form of the virus. How did he get shingles? I don’t know. We’ve been traveling a lot, confined in airplanes and airports with people from all over the world. Hey, at least its not the corona virus!

During this time of year it is important to keep our immunity strong with DHA, vitamin D, good hydration and hygiene, and a healthy diet to fight off these potential illnesses. It’s gonna be okay! Good vibes, health, and happiness to you all!

#knowtherisk #chickenpox #adultchickenpox #coronavirus #mybodymychoice

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Food Is Free: Beacon Hill Food Forest Tour

Here I am with a very fun crew of J named water sign friends, a Scorpio, Cancer, and Pisces, Jesus, Jason, and James touring the Seattle food forest. We also visited Ama on our journey to Seattle. There are several photos below from the food forest, and a video tour as well at the link below: https://youtu.be/BA2sVdhaCks

A local who has been involved with the Seattle food forest circle created an herbcrafter’s tarot deck that I had the pleasure of looking at. It was lovely! If you want to support a local artist and plant enthusiast, this is a great deck!

Here is the wonderful team that is organizing the cultivation of this food forest!
Thanks to all the volunteers for their hard work!

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Ancient Wisdom of the Future: Bio-char, Rewilding, & Terra Preta


I recently had the pleasure of a wise elder teaching me how to build a whirly girl cook stove, make bio-char, and incorporate that into a closed loop, full circle, sustainable and regenerative system for living freely and in harmony with Nature.
After learning and beginning to utilize the terra preta system in my van-life, I went for a visit to see Finn Po’s personal home and hearth sustainable set up.

Watch the videos below to join our adventure, as we cook a wild foraged plant based meal, discussing how to use simple recycled materials and earthen fuel to cook, while stacking functions and simultaneously making the materials needed for a sanitization composting system, which eventually generates nutrient dense soil for growing food, and more ways to liberate ourselves from an oppressive old system, into a new paradigm of freedom.

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Vegan eats sushi after 4 years

The food system was a large part of my awaking to truth, and for many years i have been on a dietary journey of eating in alignment with Natural Law to the best of my ability, which for the last 4 years has been plant based/vegan.

As any good scientist would, i decided to try an experiment last night. Not because I was craving it, not because it sounded appealing, not because i felt like i needed it…but for the sake of research, to gain knowledge and understanding. Perhaps a part of me decided to eat sushi due to peer pressure and past conditioning, or my closeness with someone who has been experimenting with how they feel eating a vegan diet, who talks about eating sushi as well as their love for eggs, and bugs which they have given up for a trial period. Lately I have been spending time near a scientist who very much likes to eat meat, often talking about its importance, benefits, etc and sharing about the many plants he avoids for health benefits, questions and comments on my choices to eat vegan and as least harmful as possible. He recently took a look at my blood to see how my vitamin b12 levels were doing, and to his surprise, they seemed normal. This pleased me to hear, as well as my recent interactions with an elder healer and scientist who has been eating a vegan diet for the most part of 50 years, and in recent years has been doing it on almost entirely wild plants.

I have been talking with my friend experiment with a vegan diet, who has a deep love for sushi, and I share an appreciation for the artful and delicious combinations of foods that go into making some sushi rolls. Though I have had many fulfilling positive experiences with eating a vegan version of a sushi roll, in solidarity with him as he made great progress in diet change, and for the sake of knowing through experimentation, I decided I too would experiment, as he had his heart set on trying sushi to see how his body would respond, with a lot of confidence that it would respond positively. My friend has the thought that it is okay to eat and kill fish because their brains are smaller, and they think that fish have less sentience.
Personally, i do not see fish as “less” sentient necessarily, or of less value or worth with less rights than any other life on earth, each important and playing their role in the grand scheme of things. Years before I began eating plant based, I spent several years with the strong value of hunting and fishing for my own food if i were going to eat meat, as to take the karmic responsibility upon myself rather than paying someone else to do so, and for the sake of being mindful, aware, connected, and holistically in a closed loop of the circle of life when I ate my food. Though at the time it seemed easier for me to kill, gut, and prepare fish than it was to hunt, gut, and prepare deer, I do not see it as okay to kill fish when we have other options available which cause less harm. Perhaps it was easier because they were small, and because it was so sustainable where I was living at the time, or maybe it was partly because fish seem less closely related to humans since they are not mammals.

So, I ate raw fish.

I decided to try it, and see what would happen, how i would feel…

Before ordering i talked with the server about my food allergies to alliums, and made sure to order something that was safe, so i could fully experience the effects of the fish alone, without any interference from things that i know cause ill effects.

I ordered a sushi roll with yellow tail, avocado, jalapeño, nori, and rice.

On the first bite, my observation was that it tasted like death.

I could tase and smell the cadavarine.

It wasn’t pleasant, and part of me wanted to spit it out instantly. I could hear a voice in me saying it wasn’t right for me, but a different part of me said to move forward with the experiment, and not to back out. I had already put it in my mouth, so I decided i was going to continue and eat the entire 6 pieced roll. Masking the dead body’s taste and smell with wasabi, soy sauce, and ginger allowed me to get 5 pieces down, without thinking too hard about it. Any time i allowed myself to think logically about it, it didnt make sense as to why i was eating it. I knew my body didn’t need, or like to eat dead bodies.
I wondered, would I feel great like my friends thought? They made comments like, “You probably need it” etc, which felt contradictory to my experience, having felt healthier than ever.

I traded my last piece of yellow tail sushi for a piece with raw salmon and a piece with tuna, also making sure they didn’t contain any of my food allergies with my friend at the table who had been experimenting with a vegan diet. They had described their love for sushi previously as orgasmic, was very excited to be eating sushi again, and decided to go all in on treating themselves, ordering the sushimi platter, basically a plate full of various fresh raw meat cuts straight up, as well as a sushi roll with salmon, yellow tail, and tuna, and a roll with eel. They began to eat their food and was disappointed and shocked at how they felt…It was just “okay” and not something they felt their body needed, which they thought they would simply feel amazing like their body had in the past when eating sushi. After a while they described their tummy to be not so happy, and said that they were done eating sushi, and no longer felt the desire to seek it out.

There comes a point in time when the evidence for myself becomes conclusive, knowing myself, tapping into my intuition and my heart, hearing it first and more loudly than external forces. I could hear my friend‘s disappointment, shock, and breakthrough with facing an attachment to eating meat that they now had taken a step closer to breaking away from. I was not attached to eating meat, but other than the smell and taste and energy of death that i sensed, i was in a careful state of observing my experienced, and not being to quick to make judgements about how it made me feel, or if it was right or wrong, moral or immoral.

After a while, I noticed that my body did not feel good. As we sat at the restaurant talking with our friends and allowing the meal to settle, i felt bloated. Within 30 minutes of leaving, i began to have pain in my 3rd eye and more discomfort in my abdomen. This pain continued for the next day, as well as my stomach feeling bloated on multiple occasions, with some mild cramping, gas, and pain. There have been waves of nausea when remembering the smells, textures, and experience of eating the fish. Sleeping the night after that meal was not very restful, and I felt like a zombie the next day with brain fog, and lack of energy and focus, feeling the need to get back in touch with myself. The effects lasted for another night, with more bloating and pain, lethargia, and difficulty sleeping.

3 of my friends at the table who also ate sushi did not have any complaints about their well-being, so this assures me that it wasn’t a bad batch of fish or something else that caused the bodily reaction for me. Based on my research I thought that if i were to try eating meat, maybe raw fish would be the most easy to digest thing. In my experience, it was not, and putting the death energy from animal carcasses in my body is not welcomed.
I am reassured in my intuition, experience, and knowledge that eating the most in harmony with Natural Law is the best choice to be made at any given time, which is usually vegan/plant based, and it is clear that my physical and spiritual body does not like, need, nor want to eat dead animal body parts. My body, and my soul recognizes that eating animals for food is not Right for me.


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Mounting Solar Panels on my box van

I first got my box van in October 2018, and after 5 cold months of working on making it livable, I was on the road again with the season of Aries and spring’s return.
For the first 3 months I was packing my solar panels up in bubble wrap and a cardboard box each time I drove to a new location. From Idaho I crossed Washington and made a few stops in Oregon over the course of the last 3 months. First stop was to visit a few days in Hood River with some friends who grow permaculture gardens and run a nonprofit teaching art and gardening to developmentally disabled adults. Then I went on to Dexter to visit an Intentional Community which will always be in part my home, Lost Valley. Made a stop in Springfield to visit some friends along the McKenzie River, and then down to Ashland to see friends I met at Anarchapulco this February, and ended up staying for about a month taking care of over 60 fruit trees and planting 5 large raised garden beds on their land. Now that I am on the road again, I spend the last day of the Taurus season mounting my solar panels on my box van.

To avoid making holes in my roof, I obtained 2 pieced of galvanized J channel and had then cut to the width of my roof.
I used roofing screws long enough to go through my solar panels and into the top metal sheet of the J channel, but not long enough to pierce the bottom.
I got my 4 100 watt solar panel kit from harbor freight, and each panel has holes for screws in the top and bottom so that the 4 panels can be attached.
According to the box and reviews of my solar panel kit, they are able to pick up light angled or flat. This seems to be the case, as they pick up the light very easily even if not angled. This made mounting them easy, not needing to make them tilt.

Once I had attached my panels to the J channel, I climbed up my ladder and had a friend lift the panels up so I could grab them and pull them on to the roof.
once I had them adjusted right where I wanted them to be, I screwed all four ends of the J channel on to the lip of my roof, where I could safely make a hole without creating any leaks.
A challenge I came across in this process was not having the correct drill bit for sheet metal screws, so eventually, I decided to just tighten the screw driver around each screw individually to get this task done without needing the correct bit.

When I was nearly finished mounting the panels on my roof, the sky darkened and it began to rain. I continued mounting the panels and singing in the rain, “Fuck the System” ( https://youtu.be/arbc1BjdCms )

The task was not completed without giving a little blood to my home. In palmistry, the finger that I cut is correlated with the archetype of Saturn, connected to the concepts of limitation and restriction and the earth element, all seemingly very appropriate.


Here is a view of my panels mounted on the roof. I can now drive and not have to pack my solar panels up each time! This task is not totally finished, but it is functional for now. I plan to cut a hole for the chords to run in, but for now they are just going through a different hole. 😄

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Relationship Anarchy

Those of us who seek freedom have questioned the constructs we were brought up to believe in one form or another. We may have thought that life had to be a certain way, because that is what we were taught, and it was the only way we had known life could be…. until we finally knew something more…
From meat eating, to voting, there is a huge web of beliefs that keep the world spinning. Some of us are becoming aware of ways in which we’ve been conditioned, and how that conditioning greatly effects our perspective and behavior, and one way we are finding this awareness, is through how we relate to others.
Relationship Anarchy describes relationships without rulers. Each person in a relationship is treated as sovereign, and all interactions are voluntary and consensual for all parties involved. Relationship Anarchy can look and function similarly to many different relationship dynamics including polyamory, monogamy, or something entirely unique. Relationship Anarchy is not only useful to apply in our romantic and intimate connections, but in all of our relationships from those with our children, family, parents, co-workers, to the people we encounter in passing.
What beliefs and thoughts have we been conditioned to believe about relationships that are no longer serving us? The divine and sacred masculine and feminine are often seen expressed unhealthily in today’s relationships and culture, creating an imbalance in which two people come together attempting to be complete, by each being an incomplete, unbalanced, toxic half to each other.
Self ownership required us to cultivate the divine feminine and masculine both within ourselves in balance, rather than looking outwardly to a partner to fulfill one of those roles for us. Growing into a whole and balanced person involves learning to develop, enforce, and respect our boundaries. Relationship Anarchy allows for freedom to practice boundaries for ourselves, and to practice hearing and seeing others boundaries. Relating as sovereign beings allows us to grow and develop communication skills, respect, understanding, and strength. It challenges us to work through base self centered emotions. We must come to face and accept death, making it our lover, realizing that everything is change. When we feel our deepest purpose, we can offer our love within and without, loving without expectations of it being received or return, knowing our boundaries, limits, and first caring and loving for ourselves until we are full before pouring our love outward to others. When we cultivate space to know ourselves and know who we are most deeply, we can begin to share that depth of ourselves with others. If we own ourselves, we must first commit to ourselves, before anyone else.
Those of us who seek to know thyself, and to grow and evolve into a life of more good than harm have questioned where our ego has driven us to harm, so that we may heal. In the same way we benefit from questioning authority and conditioned constructs and dogma, we must observe and question what is Truly motivating our actions in relationships. What beliefs do we hold about relationships that are from a place of fear?

When we take a look at our relationships through the lens of anarchy, what do we see?

Do we love in such a way that those around us feel free? Or do we posses or hold desperately tight to our partners?

Do we love so that we know our partner choose to be with us genuinely in every moment, or are we so far deep in contract or commitment that we can’t tell if we are there because we want to be or because we previously agreed to and it is an obligation?
Do we account for growth and change, and commit so deeply to ourselves and trust that we will know ourselves enough to choose what is right for us, or do we make contracts to create a false sense of security to satisfy our fears?

Do we order our children around, telling them what to do? Or do we make requests, and encourage them to think for themselves, respecting their sovereignty?
Monogamy has been defined as marrying only once in a lifetime, marrying only one person at a time, or having sexual or romantic relations with only one person at a time. Mono meaning one, and gamy meaning marriage. The laws of monogamy and marriage are not constant or everlasting, but instead vary depending on the time period, place, and the current whim of legislators and cultural norms. Monogamy often requires adding distinct boxes and labels in how we interact with one another. Where is the line drawn in what is monogamous or not? Having coffee? Working together? Playing music? Does hugging someone else break this contract? A kiss? Imaging or dreaming about someone else? It really depends on who you ask. Mathew 521 says, …”anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Relationship Anarchy allows us to step outside of man’s laws on how we relate to others, shedding old concepts of selling and trading women like property.
Toxicity in monogamy has surfaced in many ways. One of the ways comes through is of the normalization of jealousy and possessive behaviors, confused with an expression of love. Monogamy can encourage blindness when it comes to recognizing red flags and practical incompatibilities when their is an all encompassing focus on monogamy as the end result, as an emphasis placed on previous agreements and belonging to the other person.
Another form of toxic monogamy is when a person might be considered inadequate by their partner if they cannot meet their partners every need. Similarly, a person might be considered too needy if they are looking to meet all of their needs with one partner.
Relationship Anarchy and self ownership teaches us that we are responsible for meeting our own needs, rather than expecting them to be met externally. This is not to say that we cannot ask for a partner to meet a need for us. This can be a form of meeting our own needs, as we have taken the initiative and responsibility to do something by making a request. However, we cannot expect that our partner will meet this need, even if it is something they have done in the past for us. Habitual dependency can lead to codependency.
Monogamy can present harmful when it comes with the unrealistic expectation that you will no longer and never again be attracted to anyone else ever, because you have this one love special love that completes you. Personally I find that taking in the beauty of life is essential to my well being, and i will not pretend that people are not attractive or beautiful. I can admire many beautiful things, and one does not take away from the others unique magnificence.
Monogamy confuses the idea of commitment with exclusivity, using them synonymously, when in fact they are very different things. Commitment does not require a particular kind of exclusivity. Monogamy can promote a toxic crutch for our insecurities, when we depend and rely on our partner as if it is their responsibility to accommodate us for the inner work we have not yet done.
Being of value to a partner can often make up a large part of our identity in toxic monogamy, effecting and weakening our ability to value ourselves. This codependent sense of self worth can be devastating to a persons sovereignty, sense of self worth and inner strength. Only through knowing ourselves and valuing ourselves can we truly have a sense of self worth.
The fear I have seen within monogamy most of all, is the fear of monogamy it’s self. What are you afraid of if your partner shares love, connection, affection, intimacy or some form with someone other than you? It is a question I have asked many times, and most often I hear 2 responses. One is the fear that they could get an STD or STI from outside partners. The second is that they fear their partner will stop loving, connecting, being intimate, or showing affection towards them, or not have enough time for them.
Intimacy, love, connection, and affection do not inherently include sex or sexual activity that could transmit infections or diseases (and if we get this far, there are communications, agreements, etc that can be had around this particular topic for those who want to be poly sexual). With the first reason aside, we can examine the second, the fear that you might no longer receive love from your partner if they give it to someone else, or that it will not be as deep or special or whole.
This fear comes from the conditioned perspective that monogamy is the only way a relationship can be. This fear is essentially the fear of monogamy because we fear that our partner would become monogamous with the other person, resulting in our loss of connection with them.
Polyamory, as opposed to monogamy, can be broken down and look at as poly, meaning multiple, and amory, meaning love. Polyamory describes the act of loving more than one person. Polyamory does not require strict laws about how we interact, though individuals can consent and voluntarily set boundaries and make requests with those whom they relate with. Polyamory is not inherently sexual, as it speaks to the ability to love multiples, without setting limits on love. Polyamory can speak of relationships of all kinds from romantic to platonic. In the same way that parents can love multiple children, and loving one child does not take away from the other or mean that they do not love the other child as much, polyamory describes this ability in a broad sense, to include friends, children, family, romantic partners, etc. It is my experience that polyamory does not have much value without the concept of self ownership and sovereignty. When Love is the foundation of all our actions and motivations, we can love first within, and then without, owning our fears and insecurities, owning our feelings, and freely loving others in a way that is conducive to their self ownership as well.
Relationship Anarchy is sovereignty in how we relate to others. It requires us to know ourselves, and to continuously examine ourselves to continue learning and growing. Relationship anarchy is relationships free from rulers and masters, and free from subservient submissive slaves. It takes courage to know yourself, and even more to be your authentic genuine self at all costs, overcoming the fear of losing someones approval. Relationship Anarchy comes from a place of understanding that we are constantly growing and evolving, and if we so choose, takes us on a journey to growing into the best versions of ourselves. This means constantly checking in with yourself, observing yourself, to truly know who you are, what is true for your soul’s best interest in growth, what does your being need to experience? What do you want, what do you need, what do you feel, what do you think, what do you seek, what do you intend? Relationship anarchy allows for maximum growth in ones self, to do the work necessary to be evolved enough to healthily relate with others, and willingly collaborate with the divine in another balanced individual.